This summer Mojo will be 7 years old. Seven! I can hardly believe it, but as they say, time waits for no one. She has decided that she would like to have a pool party at our house this year and we have agreed to allow her to invite 4 or 5 of her friends for a frolic in the pool to celebrate her birth.
It occurred to me the other day that the child might also expect or desire her mother's attendance at this event and I mentioned it to the hubby. Now, I realize that we are supposed to do things that are in Mojo's best interest, like pretending that I don't hate that woman more than sin, but there are some things I am unwilling to do. Having the Harpy in my home or even in my backyard is one of them. I told this to the hubby and he agreed. He suggested that he would mention this to the Harpy as a pre-emptive move to avoid any surprises or conflicts.
So much for that. I'm calling it right now, this is the beginning of a conflict. The conversation went something like this:
Hubby: So we've decided that we're only going to have 4 or 5 kids for this pool party. You know, we don't want to have more than we can keep an eye on. We'll probably have some help from my brother- and sister-in-law.
Harpy: I assume I can come right?
Hubby: Ah, no.
Harpy: Why not?
Hubby: Well, we're just not comfortable with that. You know if we were having the party some place else, on more neutral ground that would be different, but this is our home.
Harpy: Lame complaints about last year's birthday party which did not take place at her home.
Hubby: Reiterating that it's not the same because this is our home.
Harpy: Well, then maybe we should have it at a public pool instead.
Hubby: I guess you'll have to ask Mojo about that.
Fast forward to just right now as I'm writing this post and...yes... there is the phone call from my step-daughter explaining that if we aren't going to invite her mother to the party at our house then she doesn't want to have the party here.
I suppose this is the part where I'm supposed to feel guilty or something because I am unable to take the high road here and put my ill feelings aside for the benefit of a 7 year old girl.
It occurred to me the other day that the child might also expect or desire her mother's attendance at this event and I mentioned it to the hubby. Now, I realize that we are supposed to do things that are in Mojo's best interest, like pretending that I don't hate that woman more than sin, but there are some things I am unwilling to do. Having the Harpy in my home or even in my backyard is one of them. I told this to the hubby and he agreed. He suggested that he would mention this to the Harpy as a pre-emptive move to avoid any surprises or conflicts.
So much for that. I'm calling it right now, this is the beginning of a conflict. The conversation went something like this:
Hubby: So we've decided that we're only going to have 4 or 5 kids for this pool party. You know, we don't want to have more than we can keep an eye on. We'll probably have some help from my brother- and sister-in-law.
Harpy: I assume I can come right?
Hubby: Ah, no.
Harpy: Why not?
Hubby: Well, we're just not comfortable with that. You know if we were having the party some place else, on more neutral ground that would be different, but this is our home.
Harpy: Lame complaints about last year's birthday party which did not take place at her home.
Hubby: Reiterating that it's not the same because this is our home.
Harpy: Well, then maybe we should have it at a public pool instead.
Hubby: I guess you'll have to ask Mojo about that.
Fast forward to just right now as I'm writing this post and...yes... there is the phone call from my step-daughter explaining that if we aren't going to invite her mother to the party at our house then she doesn't want to have the party here.
I suppose this is the part where I'm supposed to feel guilty or something because I am unable to take the high road here and put my ill feelings aside for the benefit of a 7 year old girl.
WELL I DON'T.
I don't feel sorry even one little bit. Call me selfish, call me immature. Call me whatever you want, but I am not sorry and will not be sorry that that "woman" is not welcome in my house.
It's not only that she did unforgivable things to my husband and made a simple situation far worse than necessary during the divorce, but that she makes my skin crawl. The sight of her makes me physically ill. Often I still have a physical reaction to her being on the phone. I am NOT exaggerating. I cannot physically be around this woman. If that makes me a terrible step-mother then so be it.
I'm sure it's not the first time Mojo has been disappointed by her parents and I know it won't be the last.
3 comments:
You are indeed a selfish step mother. I believe that what happened between hubby and his ex really doesn't involve you, it is in the past, and you should realize that divorce almost always brings out the worst in people. That doesn't make the person permanently bad.
The fact that you recognize that your behavior is juvenile as well as hurtful to your step-daughter and still choose to pursue that course says that you will put yourself first rather than doing as your should do, as a parent should do, and "take the high road" in the interest of giving the child a special and memorable birthday. I wonder if you are actually a mother , or if your only experience as the wife of the child's mother who is forced to feign affection to preserve the relationship with hubby. I find your behavior reprehensible, disgusting, selfish, harmful, ... The list goes on. Regarding your physical reaction to the ex, you need to seek mental help, that is for sure your problem and no one else's.
You are indeed a selfish step mother. I believe that what happened between hubby and his ex really doesn't involve you, it is in the past, and you should realize that divorce almost always brings out the worst in people. That doesn't make the person permanently bad.
The fact that you recognize that your behavior is juvenile as well as hurtful to your step-daughter and still choose to pursue that course says that you will put yourself first rather than doing as your should do, as a parent should do, and "take the high road" in the interest of giving the child a special and memorable birthday. I wonder if you are actually a mother , or if your only experience as the wife of the child's mother who is forced to feign affection to preserve the relationship with hubby. I find your behavior reprehensible, disgusting, selfish, harmful, ... The list goes on. Regarding your physical reaction to the ex, you need to seek mental help, that is for sure your problem and no one else's.
You are indeed a selfish step mother. I believe that what happened between hubby and his ex really doesn't involve you, it is in the past, and you should realize that divorce almost always brings out the worst in people. That doesn't make the person permanently bad.
The fact that you recognize that your behavior is juvenile as well as hurtful to your step-daughter and still choose to pursue that course says that you will put yourself first rather than doing as your should do, as a parent should do, and "take the high road" in the interest of giving the child a special and memorable birthday. I wonder if you are actually a mother , or if your only experience as the wife of the child's mother who is forced to feign affection to preserve the relationship with hubby. I find your behavior reprehensible, disgusting, selfish, harmful, ... The list goes on. Regarding your physical reaction to the ex, you need to seek mental help, that is for sure your problem and no one else's.
Post a Comment