Relaxation Tips for Angry Monkeys

There is a part of me that wants to keep track of every thing the Harpy does to piss me off. Every favour asked, every screw-up, every stupid thing she ever says. I suppose that's what the blog was originally about - venting these absurdities. But there is another part of me that knows that it is not only futile, but unhealthy to dwell on these things and so I try not to. But her audacity sometimes is just so amazing to me that I cannot help but think about it.

For instance, two weeks ago I was writing about this agreement and all the difficulties we were having and how I hoped that the whole thing would be over soon. Three nights ago, my husband is on the phone, explaining to her why he is unwilling to give up half of the Thanksgiving weekend with his daughter so that the Harpy can take her. I mean, didn't we just settle all of this? And to make matters worse, she, once again, tries to use Mojo as a weapon in her unrelenting war of manipulation. She actually has her call her Daddy to ask him why he won't let her go see her Nanny and Papa, because she really misses them and wants to see them. And it's not like it's the first time the Harpy has done this, she does it all the time!

I'm happy to report that it backfired somewhat, when Hubby explained to Mojo that she was going to see her maternal grandparents on a weekend before Thanksgiving, so that she wouldn't even have to wait that long to see them, and that she could even go and see them after Thanksgiving if her mother wanted to take her -- her response -- Oh! Okay!

Of course, two days later, by the time she shows up here for the weekend, her mother has been whining to her about it so much that the kid is confused again.

Why is it that some people have such a hard time understanding that kids are kids, not small adults, and that it's not appropriate to treat them like they're your buddy? I mean, I am all for respecting them as human beings and trying to help them understand things which are confusing to them and all, but come on! There are some things -- a lot of things in fact -- which are better kept to oneself.

And now, I've reached the part where I'm telling myself to just let this all go. I'm irritated over something that I can neither control nor change and so I need to just let it go -- I know this. But I stink at it. Any tips?

And Another Thing!

The content of this post is really just to make a point, and then I'm going to shut up about this whole agreement amendment.

As of the last post, the Harpy had agreed to the changes. Last night, at 9 o'clock, she phones and says that she has a problem. What with having to use the public transportation system to get to our house to pick up Mojo at 4:30 and then back down to the Go station downtown, not to mention having to stop at her house to pick up her luggage and then her parents having to meet her in Oshawa to drive them the rest of the way to Belleville, they wouldn't get there until almost 8pm and that's really just too much to expect of her, so couldn't we just drop Mojo off at her house at 4 o'clock on Good Friday?

Couldn't you just... It's like her favourite phrase.

I could hear her on the phone and before my Hubby got a chance to respond, I told him to just say yes. Which he did. But she doesn't listen, or maybe she just couldn't believe we folded so easily, and she carried on making excuses about why she couldn't possibly be expected to take responsibility for anything, but we just said yes, yes we'll do it and then I think that she shut up.

I am beyond tired of these negotiations. Not only did we have to give up every Easter for all eternity, but now we also have to do both pick ups and drop offs that weekend, all so that we can avoid the Harpy having to do anything for herself.

The really stupid thing is that I'm positive that at least once there will come a time when we will be driving up to Port Hope to see my mother-in-law for Easter on the Saturday and it will simply become easier for the Harpy to meet us there than for her to take her on the train and so forth. And all of this nit-picking will have been for nothing. And this says nothing about the noises she's been making lately about going back to school next September to study nursing (God help us!) -- either at Loyola College or Ryerson U -- either way, if she actually does it, it will mean changing everything again anyway.

And so the end result is that I'm not even relieved that this whole thing is over. Not that you can feel relieved at being taken advantage of anyway. Plus, with her, it's never over. The mere thought of her puts such a feeling of hatred in my heart that I can't even believe it's possible to hate somebody so much. She's not a murderer or anything, and yet I do hate her, more than I ever thought I could.

Plus, this morning, when 6 year old Mojo asked if either her father or I could share the duty of brushing her teeth with her, simply because she doesn't like to do it, I could not help but think of her mother's phone call of the previous evening, explaining why she didn't want to take care of her own responsibilities. The impact that parents have on their children is not always subtle. I will remember to always be on guard about that from now on, no matter how difficult it seems.

In any case, we took the new document over to her apartment this morning and waited while she laboriously read through it for the 5th time (yes, it's taken 5 tries to get this thing taken care of, starting July 27th, in case you're wondering) and I believe that the debacle has come to an end -- for now. I guess we'll have to wait and see how Mojo takes to the changes -- or rather, how her mother takes to the changes. As long as the Harpy is happy the village can live in peace.

And so for now....

The End.