Evil, home wrecking step-monkey

So, yesterday I had the opportunity to pick my step-daughter up directly from school. Usually during the week her mother picks her up and then I have to meet up with them to bring her home with me. But yesterday, I happily had a little extra time and so I arranged to pick up the little monkey right from school.

It was lovely. She came out of the kindergarten door with her notices and her newsletters, her drawings and her coat all piled in her arms and she handed them off to me as the other children did to their mothers and nannies and she ran out to the playground where we had agreed she had time to play before heading home.

I watched her as she looked around for her friends and was delighted to see her happily playing hide and seek with a little boy, as though she was a totally well-adjusted and completely satisfied little kid.

And then she ran over to me where I was watching, holding all of her stuff, like many of the other parents and she requested just a little more time to play -- so we agreed and as she was about to run off she encountered a woman whom she clearly knew and although I was not close enough to participate in the conversation, I was close enough to hear this:

Little Monkey: That's my step-mom (pointing over to me)
Me: waving and smiling at the woman I do not know
Lady: waves and smiles back
Little Monkey: My Daddy broke up with my Mommy and now he's married to her and so she's my step-mom.
Lady: smiles awkwardly at Little Monkey, nodding
Me: standing stunned, as usual, not knowing what to say
Little Monkey: (walking over to me) I think I'm ready to go home now.

The good news? She wasn't in tears about the whole thing like she was a few weeks ago, when she told the same story to a complete stranger in a restaurant her mother took her to.

The moral of my story? Just when you're starting to feel like a normal human being, kids have a fantastic way of making you feel like an embarrassed heap of dirt. On the up side, Little Monkey is now referring to me in public as her step-mom and I feel like that is progress. Now that she's a little older (about five and a half) and has a basic understanding of our relationship it makes me feel a little more...I don't know, defined. Now if only Disney would come out with a movie where the step-mother isn't evil...

One Surprised Monkey

So, if you've read my first post, you know that I am new to blogging, and also that I had a kind of snotty attitude about bloggers, so you likely won't be surprised to learn that I have only recently started reading other people's blogs. I would like to say that after having spent (what seems to me) a great length of time this weekend meandering around blogdom, I am thrilled to learn that there are many wonderful, witty, intelligent and even insightful human beings out there! Maybe I was just being pessimistic, but I really thought that the majority would be dull, uninteresting and self-indulgent. And while they are all entirely self-indulgent, many were far from dull.

So thank-you. Thanks to all those intelligent and funny human beings out there who are sharing their thoughts and experiences with the rest of the world.

I, for one, appreciate it.

Monkeys Take Shelter

My husband and I met for the first time in high school (oh so long ago!). I was 16, he was 20 (a little old for high school admittedly, but back then there was a fifth year!). I wouldn't say that I married my high school sweetheart exactly, though we did date for a while, maybe a couple of months, and then we went our separate ways. He went back to the small town he came from and I went back to the boyfriend I was taking a break from. Never to cross paths again. Until my 2nd or 3rd year of university. Turns out he was attending a college in the same town and we ran into each other while we were there and kindled something of a friendship. Sadly, that is also where he met his first wife (who will heretofore be referred to as "the harpy" or some other such unpleasant title).

Again we went our separate ways and it wasn't until I was out in the real world (working - and having a nervous break down because of it) that we met up again. This time on purpose. To abbreviate the story somewhat, he looked me up after his marriage went down the tubes and we fell madly in love with each other. If you believe in it, it seems a little bit like Fate.

Since then, we have been weathering the storm of his first wife together. Hurricane harpy has left us soaked to the bone with resentment and frustration on more than one occasion, but I am happy to say that more often than not, our negative dealings with her make us feel all the more grateful that we have each other.

His ability to stay calm in a tense situation; to be civil in the face of incivility; to keep priorities straight when the world seems upside down amazes and inspires me. Despite the sometimes stormy weather of our life together, his consistency shelters me, us and our relationship. I hope that I offer him the same kind of solace as he does me.